


The Long and Winding Road

by Mini_Goat



Series: SGC Episode outtakes [12]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Love Confessions, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mini_Goat/pseuds/Mini_Goat
Summary: Jack and Sam have a heart to heart about how Jack feels. Set during Threads
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Series: SGC Episode outtakes [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1448596
Comments: 26
Kudos: 63





	The Long and Winding Road

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece for Threads S08E18, References to Grace S07E13, The Lost City, S08E22, New Order, S09E01
> 
> Yes I know I did this one already. I like this episode ok? OKAY?!

“C’mon, I’ll drive you home.” He said, rolling his shoulder. Silently adding ‘You shouldn’t be alone now.’ in his head.

She nodded jerkily. She was okay, really. She’d driven to that house to give back the ring, hadn’t she? But he was right, she needed the company even if she thought he didn’t realize that’s why he was offering.

The drive back to her house was silent. Not uncomfortably so, but neither was in the mood for a casual conversation and it wasn’t really the place for what either of them would like to say.

The grit of disuse crunched under the wheels of his truck as he pulled into her driveway. He put the truck in park and turned off the engine but didn’t pull the keys.

Sam looked at him for a long moment. Neither of them spoke. Eventually Sam cleared her throat.

“Would you... um, would you like some coffee?” She finally asked him. Trying not to sound ridiculously pathetically in need of company even though she was. It felt awkward like it had when they first met and had rubbed each other the wrong way. Sam winced internally.

“Sure.” He smiled at her gently. He didn’t really want to be alone right now either.

After they got out of the truck, Sam waited for Jack to join her before they walked up the path to the house together. She went to her kitchen after shrugging off her coat and hanging it in the closet. “Coffee?” She asked him as he hung his leather jacket next to hers.

“Sure.” Suddenly he realized it was starting to sound like he only knew one word. “I’ll make it. Go have a seat.” Better, he told himself. She looked at him curiously and he gave her a small smile and tilted his head a couple of times at her small living room, encouraging her to go sit.

Sam nodded slowly at him with a small perplexed frown but followed directions. Debating in her head what she should say, what she even could say to him.

Jack puttered for a bit in her small but efficient kitchen, debating himself if he should make them sandwiches before he added up the math for when she’d probably last gone grocery shopping and decided he didn’t really want listeria or worse.

He brought her a mug and sat on the couch in the corner. Giving her space but close enough that she could move if she needed him. Jack stretched his long legs out in front of himself, and settled in, his mug cradled in his hands.

They drank coffee quietly together for a few moments while he considered which way to go with this. He was too much in the habit of not giving away his hand and admonished himself that his dignity was the least of his worries.

Almost casually Jack gave Sam a self-deprecating smile. “So Kerry dumped me.”

“I’m sorry.” And she was. He deserved to be happy even if it disappointed her.

He shrugged. “Yah. She said I had issues.”

Sam tried not to snort in amusement and failed. She missed the flash of smile Jack gave her before he continued.

“I know, not a news flash, right? Told me I should retire.”

“Jack, you aren’t _that_ washed up.” Sam said, coming to his immediate defense without thinking, her eyes flashing in ire at the other woman.

But Jack just shrugged in spite of the happy little jig he did in his head at her reaction. “It really had more to do with my conversation with Dad earlier before…” He admitted.

“You talked to him?” She couldn’t hide her need to hear every last scrap of interaction with her dad’s final moments.

“Yah. He called me an idiot.”

“That sounds like Dad.” She agreed and scooted closer to Jack who set his coffee down and put his arm on the back of her couch casually.

Jack nodded in agreement, a small smile playing around his lips. “Yah, well, he’s not entirely wrong.”

Sam shook her head emphatically and scooted against his side as she put her mug down on the coffee table. “You are not an idiot, Jack.” She told him with an annoyed frown.

Jack shrugged.

“If either of us is an idiot, it’s me.” She said forcefully with a frown. When Jack didn’t say anything but raised an eyebrow she settled against his side. “I gave the ring back.” She admitted. “I’ll mail his stuff to him sometime next week I guess.”

“So not a break?” His eyebrows went up.

“No. I told him the reason I was giving the ring back was because we aren’t a good fit.” She confessed as her head settled on his shoulder.

The arm that had been on the back of the couch settled on her shoulders. Yah, he could tell her what dad said to him. “I was only seeing her because I wasn’t used to being alone and didn’t like it. I thought it was time.” He admitted.

She gave him a perplexed look. He’d waited for her and she hadn’t waited for him. It didn’t make her feel very good about herself.

“See, there was this girl I’d kind of had an understanding with for a long time, but I guess she got tired of waiting for me and moved on.”

Sam started to say something but stopped when one of his long fingers touched her lips in admonishment that he wasn’t done. She frowned.

“It wasn’t her fault. I hadn’t said anything about it in a long time and things had gotten pretty complicated. I’m sure she just got tired of waiting for me to do something about the problem.” His shoulders bobbed. “I never came out and just asked her to wait for me because I didn’t think it was fair to her.” He smiled a little when Sam pressed her head against his chest harder.

“Anyway, Dad asked me if I still had a thing for her and what was I going to do? Lie to a man on his death bed? So I admitted yah, but she’d moved on and I needed to just deal with it. That’s when he called me an idiot, by the way. Apparently he wasn’t very confident about that whole moving on thing and suggested I use my head for something besides a cover filler.”

Sam snorted but didn’t interrupt him.

“See, I’d screwed up pretty bad. She came home happy to see me after she had a very bad accident on a mission. And I was kind of an insensitive jerk about it.”

“You weren—" She tried to argue but he continued as if she hadn’t interrupted.

“I was.” He said emphatically. “I was focused on the fact that we were at work because I was having a hard enough time dealing with her having almost died on me. Then when we had a welcome home party she kissed me on the cheek and thanked me for being a good friend.” He stressed the word ‘friend’ as if it was a dirty word. He didn’t say anything for a long time. “I figured when she got home from visiting family, I’d talk to her but by then she’d met a guy.” He shrugged.

“I kept trying to get you to talk to me about it.”

“I know.” He agreed.

“I didn’t realize how determined you would be to fall on your own sword.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy. He seemed to make you happy which was why I didn’t let you bait me into admitting how I feel about you. I thought you were only hesitating because you were afraid of hurting my feelings.”

“That’s really stupid.”

“Yah, that’s probably why Dad told me I’m an idiot.” He agreed.

“I should have tried harder to get you to talk to me.”

“I just would have kept stonewalling you. There’s a reason I told you ‘I know’ after the last time I got my head sucked.”

“You told Daniel you didn’t remember.” She accused.

Jack shrugged. “Everyone kept tying to tell me they loved me because they thought I was going to die. I didn’t want to make it weird.”

She nodded slowly. “The only reason I let things go further with Pete was because I thought you were gone. I was only having sex with him because…”

“You figured there wasn’t any point.”

“Yes. No… It was more you just didn’t seem to want me anymore.” She conceded.

“I didn’t want to be in the way.”

Sam let out a defeated little sigh, realizing she’d caused most of this mess but not all of it. “Did Dad say anything else?”

“Just that I was stupid if I thought you weren’t still in love with me.”

She nodded. “He kinda told me the same thing about you.”

“He did, huh?” He wasn’t going to let on that he’d turned on the speaker and eavesdropped. Not right now anyway.

“Yah, apparently he wasn’t a big fan of Pete.” She admitted.

Jack let out a low rumbling chuckle. “I bet.”

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Retire, I suppose.” He admitted.

Sam shook her head against his chest. “The program still needs you, Jack.”

“Kerry reminded me that we’ve had a civilian leader before.”

“Would that be the same leader whose arm I twisted until she let me find a cure for you?”

“You what?”

“I… um… kind of bullied Liz and told her I wouldn’t work on any project until she let me contact Thor about helping you.” Sam admitted with a small cringe.

Jack chuckled again. “Why am I not even a little surprised?” It was telling that in spite of her relationship with Pete she had pushed to save him from death or long term cold storage. “Remind me to send her another bottle of champagne.”

“I’m sorry I made such a mess of things.” She said softly.

“I should have told you I love you a long time ago, Sam.”

She looked up at him. Her breath was caught in her throat. He said “love” not “loved”. Present tense.

“I do you know. Love you that is.” He looked troubled for a moment. “It’s just, well I wasn’t allowed to and I didn’t want to jeopardize your career.”

“And now?”

“Now is up to you.”

She shook her head. “I need a drink.”

“Okay.”

“You want something?”

“Anything but the swill in the box.”

Sam openly laughed. “I could mail it back with his things.” She joked.

“Yah, but then it’s going to get all over everything and just piss off the postal guys. No one wants that.” He told her.

Sam chuckled. “I’ll dump it down the drain later. I always get a headache from drinking it.”

“It’s the sulfur.” Jack said knowingly.

“Ah.” Sam said with a smile. Jack would know the reason. He only played at dumb. She started to ease away to go get them a drink but he looked in her eyes and tugged her forward.

“I’ll wait as long as it takes, Sam.” He told her. Sam saw the promise in his eyes. And Sam suddenly understood the depths of Jack’s words. Meaning when she was ready to let him retire or ready to resign her commission and get out herself, he’d still be there for her this time instead of withdrawing emotionally to protect himself again.

She smiled a little. “I’m not going to make you wait.” She told him.

Jack frowned slightly, uncertain of what her cryptic words meant.

She shook her head and grinned at him. “Not that. I mean, well I guess I mean Dad was right. Who’s going to say anything at this point? Half the base has been mad at me for a year for breaking your heart.”

“They have?”

“Oh yah.” She said with a chagrined huff.

“Ouch.”

“Siler has been giving me the evil eye since I got engaged.” She admitted.

“Not Sly?”

“Walter barely looks at me – he is extremely fascinated by the computer display.”

Jack laughed.

“Yah… Felger, of all people, isn’t my biggest fan right now either. Apparently his loyalties have changed entirely.”

“Well, I did give him a big research lab…” Jack said smugly.

“You did that to contain the damage, sir.” Sam said primly.

“Yes. Yes I did.” Jack said with a smug smile. When you can’t get rid of a guy, at least make him less of a distraction.

Sam grinned at him. Jack’s heart jumped. It was his smile.

Jack grinned back.

“We okay?”

“Yap.” He agreed.

“Still want a drink?”

“Got any beer?”

Sam snorted a chuckle. “I always have beer.”

“That’s my girl.” Jack said grinning but instead of letting her go, he drew her down gently, and waited, letting her decide if she wanted this or not.

Jack didn’t have to wait long. Sam slid her hands into his hair and claimed his mouth almost desperately. He let her kiss him with wild abandon for a moment before gentling the kiss.

“I’m not running Sam.”

“I know, but I had no idea how willing you were to fall on your own sword.”

“I just wanted you to be happy Sam.”

“I wish I’d figured out you were what made me happy a bit sooner.”

Jack gave her a lopsided smile but his eyebrows were raised. “Sam, you did. But I couldn’t let you keep hoping and waiting for me knowing that thing was killing me. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

She frowned at him a moment, pondering the implications. “But…”

“Ah!” He said and put a finger that he booped her on the nose with when she gaped at him then closed her mouth with a frown. “I might never have been thawed out in your lifetime, Sam. And if I had. it could have been years.”

“I’d have waited.”

“I’d never ask you to waste your life for me like that Sam. I wouldn’t want you to. I had no way of knowing if I’d make it out alive that time and it wasn’t fair to admit to you how I feel.”

Sam’s frown deepened.

“Besides, then you would be older than me and it would be weird.”

Sam chuckled. Then she laughed and Jack laughed with her until they were both crying from laughing so hard.

He hugged her tightly. “I’m not going anywhere Sam.”

She nodded against his chest. “I’m not either.”

He hummed. “Well… I mean… I could sort of solve part of our problem.”

“Oh?”

“Groom Lake wants you.”

“But SG-1…“

“Will survive without you for a couple months.”

“A couple… but how does that…”

“I mean we’d have to sort of get married quickly but other than that…”

Sam stared at Jack, her mouth opened and closed as if trying to say something but nothing came out.

“Unless you don’t want to, in which case forget I sa—“

It was hard for him to finish with her tongue down his throat.


End file.
